Message Mania
To respond or not respond....that is the question.
by Julie Gahona
Well actually I believe our question is how and when are we supposed to respond and when do we stop or start responding.
This has been a subject that has bothered me for some time. How do we handle all of this social media, emails, texts and voicemail without offending or ignoring someone and manage our lives outside of all this technology.
Here is a list of confusion that has occurred due to electronic media etiquette mishaps:
*We missed an athletic registration by missing an email.
* An emoticon of thumbs up as a response for so many things.
Sometimes it means. yes, sometimes it means like, sometimes people use it for a response of yes. So what does it really mean?
*Didn't you get my email? It seems there is an expectation that people read their email several times a day. In reality some people don't check there email for a week or several weeks.
*I saw this one on the "Ellen" show. I don't remember the actual conversation but she had a text messaging conversation with someone and posed a question and was left hanging. Mmmm...what are they thinking...did the question insult them...did they have an emergency...did they win the lottery...did they decide they had something better to do while texting me?
The bottom line is that we forgot about the best form of a communication...in person, face to face! Test it out. How many miscommunications occur through electronic communication versus your conversations in person. It requires you to have responsibility and respond and deal with issues that you can very easily ignore when you are behind electronic communication.
But no one has that kind of time to speak person to person all the time. How can I decide when and what form of communication to use?
1. Face to face. You are able to use several senses, seeing hearing or hand gestures to ensure better communication, Any time your request is important, personal, will take more than a short sentence to discuss, or you need a decision made quickly do it face to face if you can. Make an appointment with that person with a schedule request via electronic media. If you are not getting a response even to the schedule request it may be time to call them on the telephone.
2. Telephone. I grew up with rotary phones. For the young folks, that is a phone with a dial with numbers to make phone calls. This was once our only technological communication source. You will at least both receive verbal and audio communication which doubles your chance of receiving the message accurately. Along with phone conversations came voicemail. Careful with expectations on voicemail. Because voicemail is not instant in most cases you will likely not receive an instant response.
3.Email. With the amount of emails people receive they may not get back to you for a week or sometimes longer. Don't send urgent information through email. If there is a fire in the building I am probably not going to check my email to find out! Be patient with receiving email responses. If you are emailing and you need to know if your audience is reading it set up a read receipt. Email has become more of something people feel they have to "get through" versus enjoyment reading.
4. Social media messaging. This communication is all over the place with " likes", instant everything and media. It is like reading graffiti on a bathroom stall. Some of it is poetic and informative but some of it is useless and distasteful. Use it for communication and expression. Be careful not to be too personal and remember anyone can read it. Do you remember every single one of your friends when you post? Remember Grandma or your next employer may be reading your posts. Use it for quick responses but take or leave it. No one is connected to social media constantly--well at least I hope not.:)
5. Texting. Give and receive respect. If someone texts you, respond back. If you are busy let them know with a polite message and cute little emotion(or not). Most of us put our phones in a charger at night so we are viewing our phones at least once a day. Could you imagine calling someone on the phone and during your conversation they just faded off saying nothing and never responded back to you. Not responding is not acceptable to anyone and can create concern if you were mid conversation. Be courteous by ending the conversation so the other party knows you are no longer responding.
Remember people are working, driving or doing other things that they may not be able to respond immediately. If you are not receiving a response back in 24 hours the recipient is practicing poor etiquette. Do not send serious messages. Text is great for making plans for meeting and quick yes or no responses. Do not use this forth back and forth conversation...I thought we were having mash potatoes for Thanksgiving....no I said potato casserole. See where that is going?
I hope this helped. Remember important communications should not be done electronically if you can avoid it. If you are saying to meet at the coffee shop in an hour, email or face to face may not be the best method of communication whereas text will likely work better. Be patient and don't take it personally if you don't always receive a response. Also remember not everyone uses our communications in the same way.
The more you think before you communicate the more likely your communications will be successful.
I'd love to hear any funny or disaster stories because of the wrong use of communication. Feel free to add to the feed.
Happy Communications!
Author Julie Gahona background: Julie teaches email etiquette and technical training. She has Visual and Technical communication degrees and advocates proper intelligent communication for adults and children. Our world is filled with miscommunications which can be a huge cost to the workplace or for businesses.
